Hello there! Long time no see!
You see, that’s funny because I haven’t blogged in a while and I’m making it sound like I just nipped out for a bit.
The truth behind my lacklustre performance in the blogging department has been a multitude of problems, beset upon me from all sides
The main issue has been, simply, a lack of confidence. You see, I work as a bar supervisor. I recently turned 29. You can probably see where this is going. I had been applying for more grown up jobs and had been knocked back each and every time. Which, as it would, left me wondering… Do I even know what I’m doing?
Anna sent me to Berlin for my birthday and whilst there, I had an epiphany. Does it matter if I know what I’m doing, as long as I entertain people while I do it?
This stems from a conversation I had with my little sister, Miriam. We were sat in an amazing Japanese restaurant in Berlin, enjoying some bites and a beer when she stopped me, in the middle of taking a picture no less, and asked if I think I like food too much?
No. I don’t. There is no way to like food too much. You can eat too much food. But you can’t appreciate it too much.
But the next question she asked did actually stump me.
“What good does your love of food do?”
What the hell do you say to that? It makes me happy? Is that enough of a good to justify taking pictures of everything you eat and writing witty, sporadic blogs? Probably not.
Miriam went on to clarify. I’m going to paraphrase because it was a while ago and I didn’t take notes on our conversation because that’s weird. She didn’t mean “good” in a grand sense of it all. She wasn’t asking how I was going to change the world one recipe at a time, she simply wanted to know what good I was doing for the people around me. Did I make them laugh or think or learn?
I like to think that I did. So I thought about her question and how it relates to my blog and I realised that, I’ve started this. There will be a few people who have thoroughly enjoyed my blog (thank you) and are probably a little bit annoyed that I keep stopping and starting.
I could go through a whole rigmarole of how I don’t have the time or the money or the blah blah blah. But the truth is, I just stopped doing it. I recently saved my game on my PS4 and it told me I had played that particular game for 36 hours in total. That’s a day and a half. I could have easily taken 1 or 2 of those hours and written a blog.
But I didn’t.
Because playing video games is incredibly fun.
So, that’s my plan moving forward. On the mornings/evenings (depending on my shifts) I have free, I will endeavour to write at least one blog.
Let’s see how that all pans out….