I know that the title sounds a little bit vitriolic but trust me, they deserve it.
Also, I’m sorry to the National Gallery of Modern Art in Edinburgh. I just didn’t have a picture which fits like the sentiment of this does.
As many of you may well know, I recently moved up to Edinburgh. I am not really a big plan thinker so I didn’t have a job upon my arrival.
Seeking to rectify this, I scoured job websites for days in search of gainful employment. I sent out CVs, made phone calls and just asked people whilst out.
My aim was to get back into Digital Marketing. It’s what I’ve been doing for the last 2 years so it kind of makes sense to not waste the experience, training and all that. I also looked into bar and kitchen work because:
A) I’ve been doing it for years so I’m pretty good at it
B) It’s so much fun. It can be stressful but it’s still something I think everyone should do.
Because I haven’t yet got my qualification, it’s a struggle to find work in Digital Marketing. I have, however, found an awesome restaurant/bar job I can’t wait to start.
That’s the good news.
The bad news is the mire of despicable, fake, cult-like miasma I had to wade through to put together this… it will probably turn out to be a list… so you don’t have to suffer like I did.
I’m not going to name the companies involved for 2 reasons:
- It’s a bit rude and I can’t afford a libel lawsuit right now
- These devious blackguards change their names so often it wouldn’t really matter. Getting investigated? Who cares!? Name switch!
If there was one culinary word which used to annoy me (other than the overuse of “fusion”) it would have to be “jus”.
I’m a Northerner and it’s called gravy. Don’t start faffing about with your fancy pants words. It’s just thin gravy.
If you follow me on Instagram (if not, why not? Who the hell do you think you are? You think you’re too good for me? That’s just rude!)
If you do follow me, you know I love me a good omelette/frittata (I don’t really know the difference between these two.
I have at least 3-4 per week, each with different toppings and what not. They’re just awesome. You can either plan ahead and make a really special one or you can just clear out your fridge and throw it in. Either way, it’s bloody good.
One of the things that everyone asks me (it’s about 3 people, but that warrants a blog) is how to make them properly.
With Anna on holiday recently, I spent the first few days twiddling my thumbs. Not as in being lost and not knowing what I was doing with myself. With no female presence in the house, I was free to unleash the gamer in me and battle the various forces of evil which transpired against me.
At the start of the week, Anna’s mother asked if I would like to join her and Judy, Anna’s sister, for lunch. She also included the magic words “my treat”. I would have gone anyway, that just sold the idea.
On Wednesday morning, they text me the destination and I was pleasantly surprised. We were heading to Indigo Yard in Edinburgh. I have been here before and I was incredibly pleased with my meal the last time.
I decided to make these little beauties after Anna and I had been out for food before and, because they were fried in the same oil as other things, they were unable to guarantee that they would be gluten free.
Because I don’t work in a commercial kitchen, it was pretty easy to make sure that ours were. And they were also pretty damn delicious. They were crispy on the outside and I cooked them just long enough to keep them crunchy on the inside too, with a little bit of softness so it wasn’t like just eating battered courgettes. Because that doesn’t sound like fun at all.
When you’re talking about healthy food, the word “fried” immediately turns people’s noses up.
Well, it shouldn’t.
Frying food can be healthy! Yeah, that’s right. I said it! Fried food won’t kill you. It’s all in the execution.
The reason it can be quite unhealthy is that people often do it wrong. Cooking at a low temperature or overcrowding the pan means that the intrinsic aspect of frying food is lost. Done right, even deep frying can be healthy…ish.
I was never really that into coleslaw before I met The Noodle. Even before she realised she may be slightly intolerant to gluten, she was one of those godawful weirdos who has coleslaw INSTEAD of a burger bun. Yeah, you read that right. Instead…
Not next to….
Not in the bun…
Why I didn’t just pack up my stuff and call it a day is beyond me… oh yeah, I was in the middle of Africa. She timed that little revelation perfectly. Damn her.
As you well know, I have been tasked with creating and sharing some rum cocktails using a wonderful bottle of Captain Morgan’s Original Spiced Rum. I’ll be honest, this was a little bit more difficult than I first envisioned.
I have long enjoyed spiced rum over ice, maybe with a slice of lime (if I’ve remembered to pick some up on my travels) and that will do for me. I am a man of simple tastes.
But I was asked very nicely to do this and, come Hell or high water, I am going to do a damn fine job of it.
As I said in the previous blog post, for National Rum Day my guests demanded that I made a meal which was:
- Somehow pirate related
- Gluten Free
I knew that I was going to aim for somewhere in the Caribbean area for my recipes as I had just arrived on Nassau in Black Flag and that’s pretty much my only good frame of reference for pirates.
I really wanted to make a Mojito marinated grilled fish, but that violated rule 2. So I had a think, drank some rum (obviously), assassinated some people (in the game, don’t worry) and set about making my Bahamian-inspired, vegan curry and rice.
Ahoy, Land Lubbers!
Are you prepared for National Rum Day this year?
I am! Although, I do have to profess that I was given somewhat of a headstart by the lovely people over at Captain Morgan’s when they sent me a delicious bottle of their Original Spiced Rum and asked me to… drink it. They were pretty laid back about the whole affair, to be honest.
They just wanted me to have a good time and let all of you scurvy dogs know how to make the most out of this holiday with a bottle of fine grog.