Before I return to sharing my dietary habits with you all, I feel I should apologise to the handful of you who were even mildly put out by my lack of blog updates. Suffice it to say, I am aware that an explanation is probably in order.
The first straw that didn’t quite break the camel’s back was the fact that my phone broke. That may not sound like much of a big deal, but the camera on that thing was/is amazing. I couldn’t afford to fix it for a while and every other attempt I made to take pictures with another device were met with sentimental cynicism. Yeah, they were all right, but my phone would have been better.
I later realised that this was the closest thing I had to a salient reason for giving up. The truth is…
…I had an existential crisis. I had set up this blog as a “Foodie Adventurer”, despite the fact that I hate the word “foodie”. I felt as though I was living a lie, who am I to call myself such a thing?
“Why call it that then?” I hear none of you asking.
Thank you for asking, imaginary person I just invented. The truth is that I didn’t. This blog was a gift from my brother who knows that I have always enjoyed cooking and can form a sentence when pressed. I don’t feel like a “foodie”, I feel like a hungry person who wonders what happens when I cook random thing A with whichever spice I end up grabbing hold of.
I am not even close to a “foodie”. I don’t much care about food on a day-to-day basis and I only really eat when I’m hungry. I am the definition of a lazy chef.
I can’t remember the last time I actually chopped an onion. I peel it and blend it. Same with garlic.
I regularly set rice at the lowest cooking temperature so that I have longer before I’m forced to get up and sort it out.
I have my toast lightly warmed because I’m too lazy to stand and wait for it to be crispy and golden brown.
But recently, a few things seem to have struck me.
My laissez-faire attitude towards the culinary arts is my forte. I may not be a “foodie”, but I can cook. I’m a lazy chef who somehow manages to make pretty decent meals. I like flavours from around the world because I’m curious as to what they taste like, I just don’t feel like putting a lot of effort in.
Also, I am an adventurer. In one evening I have overthrown a dictatorship in Kirat, brought justice to the streets of Gotham and rescued a kidnap victim from the slums of Brazil. Later on, after a couple of drinks, I brought down The Empire with little more than a lot of rage and a shiny stick.
I am an armchair adventurer. I have traversed entire worlds from the comfort of my incredibly cushioned sofa.
This realisation gave me a new lease on life and a new passion for cookery.
As though they had heard me, my family met my new found vigour with appropriate gifts. My brother bought me a subscription to something called The Spicery. Which is a company that sends you spices and a recipe from some far-flung corner of the world every month and you simply follow the instructions. It is amazing and I highly recommend. (I will do a review every month of the recipes)
My Mother bought me a spiralizer (so everything I said about that in a previous blog, discount it as the ravings of a lunatic) and a recipe book for it.
My Grandmother bought me a mussels pan. Despite the fact that I’m pretty much certain that I’ve never even mentioned shellfish in front of her, I was still very touched.
So I resolved myself to returning to form in the New Year. I have since fixed my phone and recovered some of the joy I felt cooking.
I will return to form. I will be the [lazy]Foodie [armchair] Adventurer once more….